1. A husband and his wife visit a marriage guidance counsellor. The wife complains that her husband doesnt pay her any attention, so the counsellor decides on some shock treatment. He leans over the desk and gives the woman a long passionate kiss. He then turns to the husband and says, "Your wife needs that kind of attention at least twice a week.
"OK," replies the husband, "but I can only get her here Tuesdays & Saturdays."
2. A husband says to his wife, "I was a fool when I married you."
"I know," she replies, "but I was in love and didn't notice it."
3. A little boy says, "Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesnt know his wife until he marries her."
"Son," says the Dad, "That happens everywhere."
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does!
5. A woman put up an ad in the paper saying. "Husband wanted." Next day she gets a hundred letters all saying the same thing: "You can have mine."