If he begins the mass on time, his watch is advanced;
If he begins the mass five minutes later, he keeps people waiting.
If he renovates the church, he keeps on spending;
If he does not renovate the church, he allows everything to rot away.
If he is with women, he is a playboy.
If he is with men, he is gay.
If he is with children, he is a pedophile.
If he is with old women, he is a mama’s boy.
If he keeps distance from all of them, he is a snob.
If he is with old people, he is old fashioned.
If he is with with young people, he is out of place.
If he takes his time in the confessional, he is too slow;
If he does it fast, he does not really care about the penitents.
If he preaches longer than ten minutes, he is boring.
If he preaches less than ten minutes, he did not prepare his sermon;
If his voice is loud, he shouts at people.
If his voice is soft , he is too hard to comprehend.
If he owns a car, he is too worldly;
If he does not own a car, he is impractical and does not go with the times.
If he goes out to visit families, he is always out of the parish;
If he does not visit them, he is not concerned about the welfare of his parishioners.
If he asks for contributions, he is very materialistic;
If he does not ask for contributions, he is just too proud to ask for help.
If he is young, he has no experience.
If he is old, he should retire.
If he says sorry, he is insincere.
If he does not say sorry, he is callous.
If he defends himself, he is proud and is blind about the real issues.
If he does not defend himself, he is guilty and should be punished soon.
As long as he lives, there are always people who are better than him;
But when the priest dies … very few are willing to follow or encourage his son or brother to take his place.