LOSING PERSPECTIVE

Winston Churchill used to tell the story of a British family that went out for a picnic by a lake. In the course of the afternoon the five year old son fell into the water. Unfortunately none of the adults could swim and as the child was bobbing up and down and everyone on the shore was dissolving in panic, a passerby saw the tragedy of the situation.

At great risk to himself he dived in, fully clothed, and managed to reach the child just before he went under for the third time.

GOOD IDEA...

Some of history's greatest replies come from people we don't usually associate with great wit.

In the decades prior to World War II, Mahatma Gandhi led a massive campaign of civil disobedience designed to help colonial India win its independence from the British Empire. In 1931, shortly after being named Time magazine's 'Man of the Year,' Gandhi traveled to London to meet with British authorities. The entire nation was curious to learn more about this little brown man, as many called him. Constantly swarmed by press and photographers, Gandhi was peppered with questions wherever he went.

AS CLOSE AND UNOBTRUSIVE AS THAT

A West Indian woman in a London flat was told of her husband’s death in a street accident. The shock of grief stunned her like a blow, she sank into a corner of the sofa and sat there rigid and unhearing. For a long time her terrible tranced look continued to concern and embarrass the family, friends and officials who came and went.

Then the schoolteacher of one of her children, an Englishwoman, called and, seeing how things were, went and sat beside her. Without a word she threw an arm around the tight shoulders, clasping them with her full strength. The white cheek was thrust hard against the brown. Then as the unrelenting pain seeped through to her the newcomer’s tears began to flow, falling on their two hands linked in the woman’s lap.

For a long time that was all that was happening. And then at last the West Indian woman started to sob. Still not a word was spoken and after a little while the visitor got up and went, leaving her contribution to help the family meet its immediate needs.

That is the embrace of God, his kiss of life. That is the embrace of his mission and our intercession. And the Holy Spirit is the force in the straining muscles of an arm, the film of sweat between pressed cheeks, the mingled wetness on the back of clasped hands. He is as close and unobtrusive as that, and as irresistibly strong.

HILARIOUS MESSAGES: shared by Renita D'Mello Rodricks

In an office:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE

USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE

REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE

LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

ATTITUDE

Traveller; “What kind of weather are we going to have today?”

Shepherd: “The kind of weather I like.”

“How do you know it will be the kind of weather you like?”

“Having found out, sir, that I cannot always get what I like, I have learnt always to like what I get. So I am quite sure we will have the kind of weather I like.”

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Happiness and unhappiness are in the way we meet events, not in the nature of those events themselves.

ABOUT CHILDREN

The poet Coleridge was visited by an admirer one day. During the conversation the subject got around to children.

"I believe" said the visitor, "that children should be given a free rein to think and speak and act and thus learn at an early age to make their own decisions. This is the only way that they can grow into their own potential."

"Come see my flower garden," said Coleridge, leading the man outside. The visitor took one look and exclaimed, "Why, that's nothing but a yard full of weeds!"

"It used to be filled with roses." said Coleridge, "But this year I thought I'd let the garden grow as it willed without tending to it. This is the result."